The Woman
by Error Cannot Reach Author
Summary: John overheard Sherlock say that Irene Adler was the one.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own sherlock

How could he do this to him? After all that they had been through together. Everything was ruined after she came. The Woman. John wondered if Sherlock even knew how much he had hurt him with those two simple words. But of course not. Sherlock had proved that he didn't need him over and over again. Sometimes he wondered why he still put up with all the things Sherlock has put him through. Hell there were too many to count.

But still John thought about whether Sherlock knew that he had come up the stairs right then. If Sherlock had heard the sobs he was forced to keep down as he rushed to his room. Highly possible but at the same time Sherlock seemed to be lost in his own world filled with thoughts of Irene Adler, the only woman no the only person other than Moriarty that was able to keep up with him. God knew that he always tried to be there for Sherlock even if he was going to be made fun of.

All of this was processing through John's mind as he sat back on his bed. Why did his heart clench at the thought that Sherlock cared about her? Why does he now feel like he lied when he said that Sherlock was ok and that he wouldn't care if he wasn't able to see her? Were they right when they said he must be in love with him?

If so it was such a cold bittersweet love. Being insulted almost every day. Having Sherlock ruin any chance of having a normal relationship and forgetting him. Cold because that is what Sherlock is. And bittersweet since he is Sherlock's one friend yet knowing that it is all he will ever be. The blogger. The friend. The follower. All that Sherlock will acknowledge him as. Never an equal, always in the background doing the heavy lifting. Not worth noticing unless needed.

Why is it now that he feels so used? Is it the general lack of appriciation for him. Or is it the fact that he is so easily forgotten and put to the side. The fact that he didn't know if Sherlock would actually be lost without his blogger. But he knows that he will never leave if he can help it. Because he can't live without Sherlock and the world that he sees.

Don't kill me! This is my first fanfiction and was sort of spur of the moment. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock.

He was leaving. What else could he say to Sherlock? I'm just going on a long vacation that requires that I take all my belongings. He would see through that in an instance. Probably would notice that he seemed too tense to be leaving on a vacation. Ha if only it was true. He would rather be leaving temporally instead of like this.

This is his home. And he knows how hard it is to leave a home. But is this really a home anymore. What is a home? A place surounded by people who care about you. A place where you can be yourself and be comfortable. Well lets check none of the above. Sherlock would be fine without him. Mrs. Hudsen will move past it. And he definitely can not be himself since he can't come out and say I love you to Sherlock. So this was all for the best. To preserve his sanity. To preserve his heart.

If only it was that easy. It would be wonderful if he could walk away without regrets. Not look back and say I wish I had done that. Or think I really should have told them. Him. But that would only make it harder to leave. It is better that he leaves like this. When they are all gone. Maybe he is being selfish by doing the easiest thing for himself but he feared that he wouldn't be able to actually go through with leaving if they tryed to stop him. And it would kill him if Sherlock just let him go. No protest. Just watching as the van pulled away. To be honest that is how Sherlock would probably act. He can't see him begging him to stay.

But he wished that he could be that strong. Have the courage to go to Sherlock and tell him how he really felt. To hang on to the last shreds of his pride if it didn't work out so he can at least not show himself cry in front of Sherlock. But he wondered if Sherlock already knew. If he read all these little signs and just knew. And if not then was he actually able to trick the great Sherlock Holmes. Then it would be dreadfully funny if he told him and Sherlock was shocked for the second time since he had met him.

But he will never find out since he is leaving right now. And it is not a moment too soon. He can see Sherlock in a taxi getting ready to get out. And he almost wants to wait those few seconds to take a chance and tell him but he doesn't. He looks at Sherlock one last time and he gets in the taxi and closes the door. In his mind he says goodbye to everyone and thanks God that Sherlock wasn't close enough to see the tears that streamed done his cheek. As he tells the taxi driver where to go, he looks out of the window and wonders if he will ever see the city the same way again.

Thank you to all the people that reviewed. If you could review that would be great so I can try and get better at writing. And I'm thinking about writing another from Sherlock's perspective but I'm not sure how I want him to act. So if you have any suggestions that would be great. Anyway thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock.**

How could John do this to him? Just get up and leave. Not even having the decency to at least say goodbye. What would he accomplish by leaving when no one was home? Cause that is what he sees their apartment as now. Before it was just a place to conduct experiments but since John had shown up it had become so much more. He added meaning to coming back from a case. Even dealing with Mycroft and his cameras all over the place didn't change how he felt about coming back with John and enjoying his company on occasion.

When he first saw John get in the cab he thought he would be back later. But three days is sort of pushing it when you never knew they were leaving in the first place. Though he may have deleted it but he didn't really believe that. Because since the day he first met a certain John Watson he had never deleted any memory of him. The first person who wasn't as stupid as the rest of London and accepted him for who he is and thought he was bloody brilliant for it. Never a freak. To take a phrase from the idiots at the yard.

When he had finally gotten off the couch to go look in John's room to get some clues to when he would be back; he could only stare in horror at the empty room that once housed John. What had he missed? Did know that John was gone? He hadn't talked to her in about the same amount of days that John has been gone. Now that he thought about it John had seemed in a hurry as soon as he saw him. Their eyes had met for a quarter of a second. So what had happened to make John's eyes appear so void of life and filled with so much sadness.

Why did John leave him so little information to work with. He needed more facts like how he was actioning before he left. And with that little thought he remembered all the cameras Mycroft had assorted around the apartment. But wait he dismantled almost all of them. Which ones were still functioning before John left? Damn it he screamed in his head why couldn't he remember such a simple thing. Why was John the only person who was capable of making him like this.

Was it something he had done? He had been acting strange during the whole affair with Irene Adler. All the comments that they had to be together. But that wasn't anything new. Was it his girlfriend who broke up with him when he said he would stay with Sherlock? Did he act even more standoffish after he heard Irene Adler moved? But he couldn't really be at blame for that could he. One of the few people who is his equal gone. Though he was able to see through her in the end. She was sent to distance him from John. And he had almost let it happen.

Turning her in had been the right choice. So what if she was in love with him. John was his friend who had stayed by his side when he needed help. Though sometimes forced. But there nontheless. So he could never abandon John like that for some woman. Now thinking about it he remembered that John had started acting weird after the Irene Adler case. He would have to ask Mycroft for the footage after that case and the day when John left for more information.

"Until I find you John."

_Thank you for reading my story. A giant thank you to the people who have reviewed or favorited or are following my story. I think it sucks so all of those people just made my day. Sorry if this chapter is bad and late, I started school last week so its starting to get busy. Review if you can. Even flames are appreciated since they will help me know how I can change it for the better. Wow this chapter was a lot longer than expected. Anyway thanks for reading._


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock.**

Am I going crazy? I mean I am seeing someone that left quite awhile ago walking around the apartment. Ha if only. If it was just some dream he cooked up that would be wonderful. But I know I don't dream. Or do I. Why does it have to be so confusing? Understanding other people isn't as hard as it is trying to understand John. Or even myself for that matter. When it comes to him I can't think straight.

The only information that came from the surveillance footage was that John didn't want to leave but felt that he had to. But from the night that he learned that Irene Adler was moving, the footage from that day was different. And when he talked to his brother, he revealed that John had seemed uncertain about how he would take her moving. "Why John" is what he wanted to shout. I know that I was acting strangely after we met her but you know that I only have one friend. And that is you.

But what is it that I'm missing. That by itself is not enough of a reason to leave with no warning. And it certainly was with no warning. I didn't expect to come back only to see you leaving. What clues did you leave. That you cried the night you told me about Irene Adler. How am I supposed to know what that means? You know that I don't do well with feelings. Did you love her or something? You had only talked to her a few times. Where she kept saying that you were in love with me. But that is ridicul-...

Wait. I did call her The Woman that night. You came in soon after and you went up to your room. I know that you were crying and it can't just be by chance. What is with that statement that could have set you off? She was known as The Woman so I called her that. Is there some other meaning I'm not aware of. Did I say anything else that day that could have been taken as feelings for her. Damn it John I don't know. Where are you? I need my blogger back.

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. And I know this is sort of a filler chapter. I started another story and I was sort of confused on how I wanted this one to continue. If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them. Seeing that I'm a sophomore in high school I also don't have a lot of time but I shall try and post more frequently for this story. Review please. Every single one counts in the long run. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock.**

_Italics are thoughts._

**John's pov**

Looking out the window of his hotel room he could see homeless people and fights occurring. Being limited in funds meant he had to make due with the cheapest place he could find. Unfortunately, it was this place. The lock on the bathroom was nonexistent and it was cramped as hell. Not to mention the bars on the window. Well we all know that isn't a good sign. And last and certaintly not least was the spiders. He was tempted to go and buy some bug killer just because there were so many. He sighed. This was only a temporary solution. He was almost ready to leave to go and stay with his sister.

She would be happy to see him. But she would probably ask too many questions. And that was the only thing stopping him from heading over as soon as he could. Well almost the only thing. There was still Sherlock himself.

_Why did I have to fall in love with the most annoying and clueless git out there? Outside of Anderson. Cause he is a git too. Why did he have to seem so frickin' asexual until Irene Adler showed up? And then it was like none stop messaging back and forth. And he just had to rub it in my face with that ringtone. God that ringtone. To think I used to like that sound. And I know it's not right to say bad things about the dead but I am almost glad she is._

_Because of her we kept so many secrets. He never talked about her. I bloody had to learn about how he felt about her by overhearing him talk about her. I kept what I was truly feeling inside until recently. God I just hope I don't end up regretting this. If Sherlock does something stupid and I wasn't there to help him... I don't even want to think about it. _

He leaned back on the small mattress in the room. Tears filled his eyes when he thought about all the times he had saved Sherlock from dying. Knowing that he probably wouldn't be able to help him the next time. And certainly not from himself. Cause somewhere on the otherside of London, Sherlock was about to make a mistake that he would regret for a long time.

**A/N: Hello! Surprisingly, I am still wide awake even though I should probably sleep now. Well, I felt that I had ignored John for too long so I made this chapter his pov. I still have one more story to update. Man I should stop starting new stories. Oh I have a poll for the next story I should start if you want to fill that out. Good old classical music. You never fail me. Anyway enough with me rambling about my music preference. Bye and review please. Oh and guess what Sherlock is about to do.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock.**

There was so much pain. And not the kind you could fix with a quick band-aid and a kiss and be done with it. No, it was surprisingly in the one place he had almost convinced himself that he didn't have. In his heart.

All of his work and progress thrown out the door as soon as his blogger left. With no note. No word. No goodbye. Absolutely nothing to go on. Leaving only these horrible, confusing emotions that wouldn't leave him alone. And he had tried everything. Well, almost everything.

_I probably shouldn't do this. _He thought as he reached to grab drugs he had kept for 'experimental' purposes._ John would be really mad at me. But who cares anymore. He obviously doesn't since he left. Gosh, why did he have to go? I know I keep asking myself but none of those seem possible. How could dear, wonderful John be in love with me? What about all the dates he went on. All those women. Who were they to him then? None of it makes sense. It just doesn't add up. _

_It makes the most sense in one way. But in the other, it is totally unreasonable. He appears to be a completely hetersexual male but that wouldn't explain some of his reactions. I have never seen him put forth any attraction to another male but that doesn't mean it's not possible. _

So lost in his thoughts he sat there for almost an hour. Forgetting about the drugs he held in his hand. About how he hadn't eaten for days. How he hadn't slept for days. Everything except for John. So when he heard knocking at the door it came as a complete shock.

"I'm coming Lestrade! But I'm not working on any cases right now. Got it." He walked over to the door. Masterfully avoiding all the 'junk', as John would call it, that he had let pile up. He unlocked it and the door swung open.

"W-what? You're back!" He stared in shock as the man stepped through the doorway.

**A/N: Hello! Well I am currently doing a marathon of updating all my ongoing stories. And this was number two on the list. I am thinking this will be the second to last chapter. And I might make a sequel if I get enough reviews asking for it. Anyway, bye and review please.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock.**

**John's pov**

_Oh my God. What happened to him? I have only been gone for a week at the latest. Did he not eat at all over that course of time. And he yelled something about not going to work on a case. Is that even possible? I mean, he is Sherlock Holmes. How could he not work on a case?_

John stood in the doorway trying to take in the state of the flat. And all the while Sherlock just stood there, clutching at his robe. Observing every tiny detail about him. How John hadn't been getting a good nights sleep for days. That he went to a motel that was run down. And that John had regretted leaving if the fact that he was back had anything to do with it.

"Where? Why?" Sherlock couldn't seem to find the right word to continue. He almosted seemed to give up. You could physically see him almost slump in relief. And John was there to catch him when he started to fall forward when his mind finally caught up to how tired his body was.

"It's fine Sherlock. I'm here to stay. I'm sorry for leaving you. Just sleep." John slowly lowered him onto the couch before turning to face the rest of the flat. The skull was out and balanced on the table. On the table there were so many experiments that he was surprised that it hadn't collapsed into itself. There were papers blowing around everywhere. He cringed when he saw that most where notes about what could have happened to him.

And with the fact in mind that Sherlock would kill him for touching his experiments, he started to clean. Seeing that Sherlock was probably going to be out for a long time he even decided to go to the store and getting food so he could make dinner. When he had moved Sherlock to the couch he had noticed how light he was. So when Sherlock finally awoke hours later the flat was clean for one of the few times and John was seated at the table. And Sherlock was glad that it wasn't a dream and that John was still there.

"We need to talk Sherlock."

**A/N: I would just like to thank all the people who have followed this story and/ or favorited it. And a big thank you to the people who reviewed. I might make a sequel if I get enough reviews for it. And I have a poll up on my account so please vote! Sherlock is definitely there. So thanks for all your support! Bye. **


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